Two men from Ireland were Talking in a Pub
'I wouldn't go to America if you paid me,' said Michael.
'Why is that?' asked the Patrick.
'Why is that?' asked the Patrick.
'Well for one thing, they all drive on the right hand side of the road there.'
'And what's wrong with that?' inquired Patrick.
'And what's wrong with that?' inquired Patrick.
'Well', said Michael, 'I tried it driving in Dublin the other day and it's terrible.'
The Vicar is Buying a Parrot
'Now, you're sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?' he inquired.
'Oh absolutely. It's a religious parrot,' the storekeeper assures him. 'Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the Lord's Prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm.'
'Brilliant. Wonderful!' grins the Vicar, 'but what happens if I pull both strings?'
'I fall off my perch, you twit!' screeches the parrot.
Customer Bowled Over by Service
A car mechanic received a repair order that said to check for a clanking noise when going around corners so he took the car out for a test drive and made a right turn, then a left turn, each time hearing a loud clunk.
When he arrived back at the garage he returned the car to the service manager with this note: 'Removed bowling ball from trunk.'
The T.V. is No Joke
I got in a fight with my wife last night and it was totally my fault.
She asked me what was on the TV and I said: dust.
Didn't go too well after that.
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