Joke Set #1

Confucius Say
A Magazine is a bunch of printed pages that tell you what's coming in the next issue. 




Confucius Say
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired. 


Confucius Say
The best way to keep your word is not to give it.

Confucius Say
A man's last will and testiment is a dead give away. 
_____________________________________


Nurse: How old are you?
Patient: None of your business.
Nurse: But the doctor must know your age for his records.
Patient: Well, first, multiply twenty by two, then add ten. Got that?
Nurse: Yes. Fifty.
Patient: All right, now subtract fifty, and tell me, what do you get?
Nurse: Zero.
Patient: Right. And that's exactly the chance of me telling you my age.


____________________________________________